Couples do not plan on growing apart - couples simply slowly drift apart over time.

Couples do not just drift into being close again. Growing close again requires intentionally taking action designed to grow close.

Here are some strategies for growing close again.

Remember when...? Have a conversation about how you first met each other and what first attracted you to each other.

Talk about the times you have felt the most connection. Then list the things you did that helped create that closeness. Then do those things again.

Mention something your partner did that you enjoyed. I'll even give you the words:

"I loved it today when you gave me a break from the kids/hugged me/held my hand/helped me at the office, etc."

Discover and use the love language of your partner. Does your partner most need to see it, hear it, or feel it to feel the most loved? If you do not know, ask.

Create a perfect day. Ask you partner what their perfect day might look like. Then create as much of that day as possible.

Renew and/or rewrite you vows. Who says we can only say these important words once? Renewing vows, commitments and words of love can rapidly and powerfully bring partners closer together.

Jeff Herring

Jeff is a marriage and family therapist, singles and relationship coach, mentor coach, speaker, syndicated relationship columnist and author.

Jeff has a full time private practice in Tallahassee in which he specializes in couples, teen and parent counseling. He also is a relationship coach specializing in working with couples and singles. Some of his professional activities include:

==> Internationally syndicated relationship columnist through Knight-Ridder/Tribune Media Services, with a weekly readership of over 10 million worldwide

==> Sought after speaker for organizations, associations, churches, and corporations

==>Twice weekly appearances on The Steve and Sara Show on Magic 107.1

==> Author of "Keep the Changes: 52 Tools for Successful Living" a collection of his best columns, as well as several e-books including "How to Create a Passionate and Loving Relationship.........Forever," "How to Beat the BOZOs: Dealing with difficult people without becoming one," and "Tame Your Teen: THE survival guide for parenting your teenager.

==> Founder and CEO of TheArticleGuy.com

==> Founder and CEO of SecretsofGreatRelationships.com

==> Founder and CEO of ParentingYourTeeanger.com

==> Founder and CEO of ToolsforSuccessfulLiving.com

==> President of BuildingYourIdealPractice.com

==> President of ConsciousDatingTallahassee.com